Where Retail Goes to Die

A while ago I discovered a place around here that buys everything left over after a retail store goes out of business.  It even has an entire floor full of creepy mannequins.  The building is a huge warehouse jam packed with old fixtures, jewelry cases - even hangers.

There wasn't a whole lot of old advertising but I did find some hard styrofoam letters.  Thank god Amanda plays Words with friends because there was just a jumble of letters I didn't know what to do with. She came up with "Loco", which is pretty appropriate I'd say.  With a bit of work, I thought it would look pretty awesome hanging above a doorway.

So we spray painted.  Right on our unruly lawn.  The letters were originally orange, so we spray painted the front side blue.  I was originally going to paint the whole piece blue, but it looked so awesome with just one side painted and the orange poking out.

For $2 a piece, I'd say they look pretty great.

Even better when not surrounded  by unmanicured grass.

Keep Reading...

How to Make Other People's Trash Look Halfway Decent

Amanda and I go through furniture like no tomorrow, particularly chairs.  We're not exactly sure why this happens but it could be caused by our lack of desire to actually purchase furniture.  In fact I can't think of a single piece of furniture in our home that wasn't given to us or purchased at Goodwill.  It's hard being broke. 

But by God if we're going to be broke we're at least going to try and make it look like that's "what we were going for". 

So instead of spending hundreds to make new stuff look old, we just take other people's trash and hope for the best.  Our friend is moving across the country and couldn't takes these beauts with him.

Please note the scratchy, burnt orange fabric.  This is the kind of fabric that still makes you itch even if you are wearing jeans. The itch seeps through that much.

When our friend gave them to us he told us that these chairs were his father's and said that he would "be rolling in his grave if he knew we were breaking up the set". It's good to know the chairs came from someone who loved them. Even if there are holes in them.

 

After reading about a paragraph on the internet about how to reupholster a chair I told myself that I could do this.  Most of the time that doesn't turn out so well.  Thankfully, this disembodied hand showed up to help.  It did a hell of a job with the stapling.

Every wall in our house is beige.  To counteract this our landlords painted the wood floors mint green.

What the hell do you do with mint green floors?

The answer is nothing.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to make mint green wood floors attractive.  You can call them "rustic" or "quaint" but really they're just ugly.

It's impossible to find anything to match. For some reason I felt like yellow might be a good choice.  Amanda hates this fabric.  That's fine because I think it looks great.

Here is the finished product.

At least now we can eat dinner without wanting to tear our skin off right? I can only hope that in 30 years two broke twenty somethings discuss how terrible the fabric choice was and have an argument about what to reupholster them with.

Keep Reading...

Proof I am becoming an old woman

1) I knit a scarf with a collar.

 

Only old women need collars on their scarves.  This is because they require the extra warmth of both shirt collars and scarf collars. If a person under the age of 75 were to wear two collars at the same time they would sweat to death.  Fortunately for old people, this is physically impossible.

2.  I have started quilting.

My excuses for this include:

There was a sale at Joanne Fabric

I needed something to do while I was watching the Golden Girls

Sometimes I drink too much wine to knit without dropping every other stitch. Luckily for me, sewing machines pretty much do all the work for you as far as keeping things in a straight line.

3. I am growing my own vegetables.

This is the only thing that I haven't killed.  Please refer back to this post to see all the things that I actually planted.

Keep Reading...

I'll knit for your baby...

...but only if I like you.  Seriously.  Amanda and I have been talking about people's reactions when they find out that you're a knitter.  They always want something from you, especially if they are having a baby.  Lucky for my friends Eric and Chelsea I like them enough to knit for their baby without having to be asked.

I had some leftover sock yarn that I got for my birthday last year, the perfect amount for a tiny pair of socks.  I used the High energy baby booties pattern that I found on Ravelry.  It has a lovely picot edge that I love!  Such a nice touch to add that extra bit of fanciness!

 There are still a couple of months left before baby girl comes but these are ready now so that I can make more.  I'm at the stage in my life where everyone is getting married and popping out a kid so I figure I should get a stash of baby items going. So if I like you enough expect some baby booties or possibly a hat.

Keep Reading...

Things College Taught Me

It's official, I am no longer a college student.  I graduated this weekend with a degree in Kinesiology!  That means I have to change my blog tagline, this is pretty much the only negative thing that I can think of.

There are a few things that I learned in college aside from how to write a 5 paper in an hour.  I'll outline them below for those of you that are still in college or have graduated more than 5 years ago.

1) It is important to never get up and blow your nose during a test.  The sound of snot being sucked deeper into your face stimulates your brain thus giving you a higher grade.

This is VERY important, especially when you are in a large lecture class.  When 10-20 people suck snot into their faces it becomes a "suck chorus".  This has even been shown to increase the productivity of those around you.  

2) Always bring another activity to entertain you during lecture. Examples include: Knitting, sudoku or a book.

I tend to think of sitting in class like sitting in an airport, you have to be there even though you won't be leaving for the next year and half.  You may as well bring something to do otherwise you have to pay $29.99 for a Twilight novel.

3) Chew gum as loudly as possible, especially if you are interested in attracting the opposite sex.

 I'm not even going to be sarcastic about this.  I have seen more conversations happen by the pick up line "Hey can I have some of that gum you're chewing" then I care to think about. What they really mean to say is "You're chewing your gum in a manner that is similar to a cow chewing its cud.  I find that attractive because I too enjoy chewing my gum in this manner.  Let's have sex."

4) Always pretend you aren't interested and have some place better to be, even if you are genuinely interested.

Warning: This one only applies if you want friends.

5) Never arrive on time

This lets everyone in the class know that you are too cool to arrive on time.  The later the better.  It is important to make as much noise as possible when entering the classroom.  Always choose a seat in the middle of everyone so you have to crawl over them.   This ensures that all the attention will be on you.

Now you don't even need to go to college!

Updates soon on what I am actually making, and not just complaining about. It will be great! 

 

 

Keep Reading...

Fribee Cat

I wish I still had the first thing I ever knit.  I have the first full project I ever completed -which is the Ribbed for Her Pleasure Scarf out of the Stich 'N Bitch book, but I don't have the first swatch I ever knit.  I envy those of you that do.

One of the earlier projects that I ever knit without a pattern became a beloved (or hated depending on who you ask) icon for the Women's Ultimate Frisbee team at UNCG.  His name was Fribee Cat.  Pronounced like frisbee without the "s".  He was constructed of only the cheapest Lion Brand yarn complete with a terrifyingly uneven set of eyes and a mouth.

Fribee Cat Senior had a habit of showing up in places you didn't expect him.  In the cabinet at a party, in a gift box at Christmas- he came to be known as somewhat of a creeper.  And if you really look at him he is a little creepy, I don't know what it is.

Unfortunately, it was due to his habit of hiding in places and waiting to be found that we lost him.  The original Fribee cat is out there somewhere creeping his heart out.  Even though I don't play Ultimate anymore everyone on the team has been requesting another Fribee Cat.  Well obviously you could never replace some like Fribee Cat, but fortunately for me his darker complexioned cousin came to town.

I tried to mimic my shoddy craftsmanship from the previous version, it didn't take too much effort.

Keep Reading...

Entrelac: The easiest thing to knit that looks really complicated

I will be the first one to admit that I secretly (or not so secretly) love when people compliment what I'm knitting, especially other knitters.  It's flattering, there is no denying it.  Knitting something that looks extremely complicated but is actually really simple is even better.  Hence Entrelac.  It's seriously just increasing and decreasing.  If you're interested in learning how to do this start here.

This cowl was originally started because I had every intention of learning to knit backwards.  Knitting backwards would have really sped up this process, unfortunately I gave up.  Think of it like batting left handed, it just feels wrong.  Remember when you were learning how to knit and the needles felt heavy and awkward in your hand?  Times this by 100 and this is how knitting backwards feels, totally counter intuitive.  Maybe I'll try it again sometime, but not for now I'll stick with regular knitting.

Even though I didn't learn to knit backwards I did get a project crossed off my list.  A while ago I promised the first person to comment on this post a very special surprise.  That lovely person is my Aunt Stefani.

The cowl has two layers as you can see here.  One side is entrelac the other stockinette. 

As you can see here it was sewn with a twist in it so both layers are visible at the same time.

I know it's getting to be Spring time so this cowl is knit with a cotton blend to her neck at optimal temperature for necks.  Although I am not sure what the optimum neck temperature is I'm sure this cowl will keep it there.

Keep Reading...