Where Retail Goes to Die

A while ago I discovered a place around here that buys everything left over after a retail store goes out of business.  It even has an entire floor full of creepy mannequins.  The building is a huge warehouse jam packed with old fixtures, jewelry cases - even hangers.

There wasn't a whole lot of old advertising but I did find some hard styrofoam letters.  Thank god Amanda plays Words with friends because there was just a jumble of letters I didn't know what to do with. She came up with "Loco", which is pretty appropriate I'd say.  With a bit of work, I thought it would look pretty awesome hanging above a doorway.

So we spray painted.  Right on our unruly lawn.  The letters were originally orange, so we spray painted the front side blue.  I was originally going to paint the whole piece blue, but it looked so awesome with just one side painted and the orange poking out.

For $2 a piece, I'd say they look pretty great.

Even better when not surrounded  by unmanicured grass.

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How to Make Other People's Trash Look Halfway Decent

Amanda and I go through furniture like no tomorrow, particularly chairs.  We're not exactly sure why this happens but it could be caused by our lack of desire to actually purchase furniture.  In fact I can't think of a single piece of furniture in our home that wasn't given to us or purchased at Goodwill.  It's hard being broke. 

But by God if we're going to be broke we're at least going to try and make it look like that's "what we were going for". 

So instead of spending hundreds to make new stuff look old, we just take other people's trash and hope for the best.  Our friend is moving across the country and couldn't takes these beauts with him.

Please note the scratchy, burnt orange fabric.  This is the kind of fabric that still makes you itch even if you are wearing jeans. The itch seeps through that much.

When our friend gave them to us he told us that these chairs were his father's and said that he would "be rolling in his grave if he knew we were breaking up the set". It's good to know the chairs came from someone who loved them. Even if there are holes in them.

 

After reading about a paragraph on the internet about how to reupholster a chair I told myself that I could do this.  Most of the time that doesn't turn out so well.  Thankfully, this disembodied hand showed up to help.  It did a hell of a job with the stapling.

Every wall in our house is beige.  To counteract this our landlords painted the wood floors mint green.

What the hell do you do with mint green floors?

The answer is nothing.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to make mint green wood floors attractive.  You can call them "rustic" or "quaint" but really they're just ugly.

It's impossible to find anything to match. For some reason I felt like yellow might be a good choice.  Amanda hates this fabric.  That's fine because I think it looks great.

Here is the finished product.

At least now we can eat dinner without wanting to tear our skin off right? I can only hope that in 30 years two broke twenty somethings discuss how terrible the fabric choice was and have an argument about what to reupholster them with.

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Proof I am becoming an old woman

1) I knit a scarf with a collar.

 

Only old women need collars on their scarves.  This is because they require the extra warmth of both shirt collars and scarf collars. If a person under the age of 75 were to wear two collars at the same time they would sweat to death.  Fortunately for old people, this is physically impossible.

2.  I have started quilting.

My excuses for this include:

There was a sale at Joanne Fabric

I needed something to do while I was watching the Golden Girls

Sometimes I drink too much wine to knit without dropping every other stitch. Luckily for me, sewing machines pretty much do all the work for you as far as keeping things in a straight line.

3. I am growing my own vegetables.

This is the only thing that I haven't killed.  Please refer back to this post to see all the things that I actually planted.

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I'll knit for your baby...

...but only if I like you.  Seriously.  Amanda and I have been talking about people's reactions when they find out that you're a knitter.  They always want something from you, especially if they are having a baby.  Lucky for my friends Eric and Chelsea I like them enough to knit for their baby without having to be asked.

I had some leftover sock yarn that I got for my birthday last year, the perfect amount for a tiny pair of socks.  I used the High energy baby booties pattern that I found on Ravelry.  It has a lovely picot edge that I love!  Such a nice touch to add that extra bit of fanciness!

 There are still a couple of months left before baby girl comes but these are ready now so that I can make more.  I'm at the stage in my life where everyone is getting married and popping out a kid so I figure I should get a stash of baby items going. So if I like you enough expect some baby booties or possibly a hat.

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Things College Taught Me

It's official, I am no longer a college student.  I graduated this weekend with a degree in Kinesiology!  That means I have to change my blog tagline, this is pretty much the only negative thing that I can think of.

There are a few things that I learned in college aside from how to write a 5 paper in an hour.  I'll outline them below for those of you that are still in college or have graduated more than 5 years ago.

1) It is important to never get up and blow your nose during a test.  The sound of snot being sucked deeper into your face stimulates your brain thus giving you a higher grade.

This is VERY important, especially when you are in a large lecture class.  When 10-20 people suck snot into their faces it becomes a "suck chorus".  This has even been shown to increase the productivity of those around you.  

2) Always bring another activity to entertain you during lecture. Examples include: Knitting, sudoku or a book.

I tend to think of sitting in class like sitting in an airport, you have to be there even though you won't be leaving for the next year and half.  You may as well bring something to do otherwise you have to pay $29.99 for a Twilight novel.

3) Chew gum as loudly as possible, especially if you are interested in attracting the opposite sex.

 I'm not even going to be sarcastic about this.  I have seen more conversations happen by the pick up line "Hey can I have some of that gum you're chewing" then I care to think about. What they really mean to say is "You're chewing your gum in a manner that is similar to a cow chewing its cud.  I find that attractive because I too enjoy chewing my gum in this manner.  Let's have sex."

4) Always pretend you aren't interested and have some place better to be, even if you are genuinely interested.

Warning: This one only applies if you want friends.

5) Never arrive on time

This lets everyone in the class know that you are too cool to arrive on time.  The later the better.  It is important to make as much noise as possible when entering the classroom.  Always choose a seat in the middle of everyone so you have to crawl over them.   This ensures that all the attention will be on you.

Now you don't even need to go to college!

Updates soon on what I am actually making, and not just complaining about. It will be great! 

 

 

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Fribee Cat

I wish I still had the first thing I ever knit.  I have the first full project I ever completed -which is the Ribbed for Her Pleasure Scarf out of the Stich 'N Bitch book, but I don't have the first swatch I ever knit.  I envy those of you that do.

One of the earlier projects that I ever knit without a pattern became a beloved (or hated depending on who you ask) icon for the Women's Ultimate Frisbee team at UNCG.  His name was Fribee Cat.  Pronounced like frisbee without the "s".  He was constructed of only the cheapest Lion Brand yarn complete with a terrifyingly uneven set of eyes and a mouth.

Fribee Cat Senior had a habit of showing up in places you didn't expect him.  In the cabinet at a party, in a gift box at Christmas- he came to be known as somewhat of a creeper.  And if you really look at him he is a little creepy, I don't know what it is.

Unfortunately, it was due to his habit of hiding in places and waiting to be found that we lost him.  The original Fribee cat is out there somewhere creeping his heart out.  Even though I don't play Ultimate anymore everyone on the team has been requesting another Fribee Cat.  Well obviously you could never replace some like Fribee Cat, but fortunately for me his darker complexioned cousin came to town.

I tried to mimic my shoddy craftsmanship from the previous version, it didn't take too much effort.

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Entrelac: The easiest thing to knit that looks really complicated

I will be the first one to admit that I secretly (or not so secretly) love when people compliment what I'm knitting, especially other knitters.  It's flattering, there is no denying it.  Knitting something that looks extremely complicated but is actually really simple is even better.  Hence Entrelac.  It's seriously just increasing and decreasing.  If you're interested in learning how to do this start here.

This cowl was originally started because I had every intention of learning to knit backwards.  Knitting backwards would have really sped up this process, unfortunately I gave up.  Think of it like batting left handed, it just feels wrong.  Remember when you were learning how to knit and the needles felt heavy and awkward in your hand?  Times this by 100 and this is how knitting backwards feels, totally counter intuitive.  Maybe I'll try it again sometime, but not for now I'll stick with regular knitting.

Even though I didn't learn to knit backwards I did get a project crossed off my list.  A while ago I promised the first person to comment on this post a very special surprise.  That lovely person is my Aunt Stefani.

The cowl has two layers as you can see here.  One side is entrelac the other stockinette. 

As you can see here it was sewn with a twist in it so both layers are visible at the same time.

I know it's getting to be Spring time so this cowl is knit with a cotton blend to her neck at optimal temperature for necks.  Although I am not sure what the optimum neck temperature is I'm sure this cowl will keep it there.

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Uh-mer-ica

It's almost, sort of, kind of spring.  Sometimes it's 80 degrees and sometimes it's 45.  This means people everywhere are driving with their windows down and playing their terrible pop music at much too loud of a volume.  What is it about warm weather that makes people want to drive like idiots?

Aside from driving like idiots another American pastime is grilling highly processed meat products over some kind of heat source and drinking beer flavored water. Which brings me to today's creation.  The prompt for today is to create something using water.

 So I made ice.  That's right, ice. I made ice and I'm blogging about it.  But wait! It's not just ice, it's AMERICAN ICE! Who needs a tshirt that says Proud to be an American when you can just say it with your beverage coolant?

It's a shame I didn't get a picture of the white, it was the hardest to make.

 There she stands in all her glory, the greatest ice on Earth.

I wish I had a Bud Light to cool, but alas I am not that desperate.  

Also, hi everyone from Makesomething365! Thanks for checking out my blog! Please don't judge me that I made ice today!

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Busy, Busy Beavers

 Oh hey there blog world.  Sorry for abandoning you the past couple of weeks.  I'm still alive and have been crafting every day- sometimes most of the day.  Here's what I have been working on:

 

Eight sets of buttons (one of which I sold at the craft fair!!)

 Close up.  Amanda spent a long time designing the packaging for these.  Thank god she knows something about photo editing software because I was just going to throw them at people as they walked by.

 

The only circular buttons I have tried so far.  The only reason why these ended up being circular is because I fucked up an edge so badly that it would never resemble a square again.  Works for me.

These weren't too big of a hit at the Hand to Hand - but at least I sold one set.  I was absolutely terrified I wouldn't sell a single item.  So thank you  (all 5 people)  for buying something on Saturday. You have done wonders for my self esteem. Especially because those 5 people weren't my Mom.  Sick!   Next show, shooting for 6 items sold.  Go big or go home friends.

Speaking of the craft fair, in the haze of it all it seems that I completely forgot to take pictures. Bad, bad blogger.

We recently bought a wet saw to make some larger items out of china, maybe some coasters? How about 4 fingers? We'll see how it goes. 

Now I can't take credit for the next item at all, but damn isn't this cool?

 

 Tshirt yarn.  Made of old cut up Tshirts and hand dyed by this lovely  lady.  Makes a wonderful and cool (I'm speaking of temperature here but we all know how hip cowls are right now) The only part I can take credit for is vacuuming up the Tshirt snow.  

If you don't know what Tshirt snow is consider yourself lucky.  It is a rare phenomena that occurs only when using a rotary cutter to slice Tshirts into strips.  It's a bitch to vacuum and gets everywhere.  

Next on the list of things I spent way to much time making: Needle Felting Snail Packs.  I sold 2! Count em' 2 Snail Packs!

Packaged in the chicest of chic, these fine packs include everything you need to needle felt this ridiculously useless item!  But look at their awkward, crooked eyes! Just plucks my heart strings.

 Everything that is included inside the pack, displayed proudly on my porch.  Try getting this shot on a windy day.  Not easy.  The brown wool is unprocessed.  It came from a lovely sheep named Dutch, we bought his fleece last year and it gives the snail that wonderful earthy look all you fucking hippies love.

Eat your heart out hippies.

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Hand to Hand

Dear Friends,

Sorry for the abandoning you the past couple of weeks.  It's all because I was getting ready for my first craft show.  Footage will be posted shortly and lots of new pictures of what I've been doing are long overdue. Just letting you know that I'm still here, I'm still crafting and I haven't forgotten that this exists.

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I have 3 things...

1) Lots of unfinished objects laying around the house.

 These are gloves in some lovely Malabrigo yarn, color lettuce.  One glove is complete, the other needs 3 more fingers.  It seems I'm having trouble finding time for 3 fingers.

 I'm learning entrelac!  It's a relatively simple technique that just uses picking up stitches, increases and decreases.  It's simple enough, but every time I think I have the pattern memorized I mess something up.

I'm in a little bit of a green kick, must be the thought of spring time coming.

2) Three very messy puppies

 

These guys just stepped up from being bottle fed to mush.  We're still learning that we don't need feet to eat.  It's proving to be a rather difficult skill to learn.

 

  Making anything at all is tough when these fur balls needs to eat every three hours, but that's fine if it means I can squeeze these guys to death any time I want.

3) Dirty hands

 Spring is here which means it's time for me to kill perfectly good seeds.

 In this pot is some Cilantro.

 And these are Sweet Pea seeds.  There is no hope of these ever blooming.

And here we have some Dill and some carrots. Once these sprout they will be replanted.

I'm posting lots of pictures to make up for the fact that I haven't completed anything in over a week.

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Hand to Hand

Everyone check this out!  I'll be there with lots of cool things for you to buy and teaching people how to knit! No experience necessary.  Mark your calendars!

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China Buttons

This week I had 5 exams.  Five.  That seems cruel.  After all that studying I was ready for some serious crafting.

I have been playing around with the buttons for a while now, but I'm still having problems drilling holes in them.  Even keeping the drill bit wet and using oil to increase the viscosity it's still a lengthy process.  Each hole can take up to 15 minutes to drill and sometimes you get to minute 14 and the button cracks in half.  So instead of going through all of this I have found button shanks.

I ordered them yesterday so we'll see how they turn out.  In the mean time I am busy preparing buttons to put on to the button shanks.

This is the plate I started with.  I use tile cutters to get smaller pieces.

As nice as the tile cutters are, it's pretty hit or miss. Certain pieces of china crumble more than others.  Luckily this plate is very thick and almost seemed like it wanted to be cut into a square.

The finished products.  I love the way the glaze created a border when I smoothed out the edges.  

In other news I got a haircut.  For a while now I have had what I assume can only be called a mullet.  I hadn't realized it had gotten so long.

So long in fact that I deemed it necessary to put it into a ponytail and then cut it.  I think it would make a wonderful Christmas ornament.  Or a terrifying Christmas ornament.  This is one for the scrapbook folks.

Ya'll have to keep me in check, I can't see back there!

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Tuna

Day 10: Use water as your inspiration today.

You can only make two things with water: ice and steam.

So instead I used this as an excuse to add yet another pet to our home.  Meet Tuna, full name Tuna F. Stick.  The F of course stands for Fish.

 He is a betta with a bit of an attitude problem.  

Tuna is the second try at owning a betta in the past week.  Apparently if it's too cold in the house, the fish's water will be too. Unfortunately, he died before he could be named.  We gave him back to the sea in a proper burial ceremony.  (We flushed the dude)

But now it's smooth sailing with Tuna and I.  He's got a tank heater, bamboo and all the fish food he could imagine. Not to mention I kept the receipt so if this one bites the bullet I'm getting my money back.

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The Crane Train

Last weeks phonebook origami has inspired a marathon of paper folding.  In other words, I have gone crane crazy folks.  My friend Tristin is an origami genius and was so kind to share some of her knowledge with me.  It resulted in this:

A crane mobile!

By the end of the evening we had made two of these beauties with about 10 cranes each.  They are currently hanging out by the window catching what little light is coming through on this cold, rainy day.

First time making origami? Try this site.  They have both a diagram and animated instructions which makes it much easier to see what is actually happening.  All you need is a square sheet of paper to make a crane, any size will do.  If you're going to get really fancy they have origami specific paper.  This is one of my favorite papers in my stash.

Is that correct origami lingo? Papers? Stash? Or are those terms just reserved for pot heads?

Have you ever made a crane?  What about the U.S.S Enterprise? Well if you have, I want to see it.  If it's your first time, I want to see it.  Show me the origami people!

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